About 20 years ago, a couple of fading sports stars stirred up the New Zealand television establishment with their particular brand of ‘masculine’ antics and braggadocio. It didn’t go down well with everyone. But blokeishness has come a long way since then. Just check out the way Duke Cannon positions its masterful range of gentlemen’s grooming products from the US. It’s blokeishness with an undercurrent of clever irony, positivity and self-deprecation. It’s brilliant.
These guys are laugh-out-loud funny. Here’s an FAQ from their website to give you a taster:
Q: Do you test on animals?
A: Short answer: hell no. Less short answer: We love puppies. At Duke Cannon, we believe dogs are even better than best friends. A dog, after all, will never call you at 2am to bail him out of jail, and he’ll never subtly hit on your wife. We love dogs. Hardly a day goes by when there isn’t a dog’s presence making our office a better to place to work. We like animals. We don’t even hate cats. As such, we never test on animals. Just interns.
When we came across Duke Cannon products during our latest merchandising foray into the US, we had our doubts about incorporating them into the Blackwell and Sons range, which – as you know – celebrates all things classy, enduring and romantic. But one look at the brilliance on their website and product packaging was enough to convince us to give them a try.
So, we brought in Big Ass Bricks of Soap, Best Damn Beard Balm (“for the beard of a world champion”) and a range of other grooming delights (which, by the way, are perfect stocking stuffers) – and it seems customers can’t get enough of them.
Duke Cannon products need to be seen, touched, smelt and read to really be appreciated. That’s why we haven’t included them here in our online store. So, on your next visit to Greytown, sidle into our emporium and check out the display to the immediate left of the counter. You won’t be disappointed.
In the meantime, here’s some more Duke Cannon wisdom to brighten your holiday season:
“While a well-manicured beard is a symbol of power and prestige, an unruly and dishevelled beard has the potential to lead society into complete anarchy. Do your duty and maintain your beard with Duke Cannon's Best Damn Beard Balm.”
Big Ass Brick of Soap: “It’s not so big that it beeps when it backs up, but it’s big.”
“Duke Cannon hails from a simpler time. A time when the term handyman was redundant. A time when chivalry and patriotism weren’t considered old- fashioned. A time when you never put the word salad next to bar.”
“Duke Cannon’s premium grooming goods will not get you laid, and they won’t make you more manly. They promise only to you get you clean, and smelling and feeling good. Your masculinity is not defined by the brands you use but by the actions you take. The Duke Cannon brand is FOR decent, hard-working men; it doesn’t help create them.”
That’s 21st century blokeishness, right there.